My Fitness Journey- Knowledge is Power

My experience with my first personal trainer changed my life. For real, I owe that guy big time. 

My trainer helped pull me out of the darkness. Or rather, he helped me pull myself out of the darkness. Either way, the timing could not have been better. Fitness was the perfect thing the perfect time to help me shake my disordered eating habits.

First thing my trainer did for me was give me support. That was huge for me. I was feeling so isolated and so alone in my extreme dieting. I felt embarrassed that I was working so hard and gaining weight. I felt embarrassed that I had a habit of binging and purging.  I felt so much shame about it that there was no way I could tell anyone about it. It was so nice to have someone to talk to about craziness, someone who I trusted went going to judge me.  I felt so good to have someone to talk to about my goals, and it was especially nice to have him re-assure me, without judgement,  that anything was possible. I loved having someone in my corner. 

The second thing he did for me was help me to understand how nutrition and exercise worked together to help me get my metabolism back on track.  He helped me understand that I needed CALORIES to thrive (calories!... who'd a thunk!). He helped me understand what impact my disordered eating had on my body, and helped me make a plan to get things back on track.

The third thing he did was teach me how to DO WORK! Now let me just say, his workouts were completely insane, but I will tell you this- his workouts helped me gain a passion for exercise. That dude helped me LOVE my workouts. Not just going through the motions, but getting up and giving 110% every time you hit the gym. It is intensity that changes the body. It is intensity that creates the adaptation in your muscle.  It is the intensity that helps you build mental toughness! The workouts with my trainer made me feel like I accomplished something great for the day. They helped me build confidence in myself and my abilities.

So- thats when the tide changed. I had knowledge, so I had power. I fixed my nutrition, I quit barfing, and I PUT IN WORK at the gym.  I trained so hard, so consistently, that I even squatted 315 bs for 6 reps that year. I built 10 lbs of muscle and lost 25 lbs of fat. I was shredded. I was jacked. I was yolked. I was whatever the gym bros wanted to call it.  For the first time in my life, I was proud of my body and proud of the work I had put in to get there! I could NOT get enough of that feeling!!!!!

It was such an amazing feeling that I decided I wanted to help others feel the same way! I decided to switch my major from broadcast journalism to exercise and sports science, I enrolled with the national academy of sports medicine, and I got certified to be a personal trainer.  I was going to change the world one person at a time by helping them learn how to lose weight.

And you'd think I would have learned my lesson about the dangers of "being extreme" after overcoming binging and purging, losing a bunch of body fat, and certifying to become a personal trainer.....BUT... I didn't. (twist!!)

What happened next, you ask?? 

Well- what happened was this-

While I had gained all the knowledge i needed to help myself and others GET IN SHAPE, I still didn't fix what was going on inside my head. I didn't even know that was something that needed to happen. I had no idea that the battle in my mind would change form.

So instead of ridding myself of dysfunction, I just shifted it to something else.